This morning I blew off the gym.
Yes. It flies in the face of this advice.
Yes. It was an internal battle waged at 4:45am in the quiet dark.
Yes, I immediately felt guilty, even though I was the one to choose not to go.
But I desperately wanted to write. Hell, I needed to. Because since last weekend I have been in some kind of horrible, self-pitying, paralysed funk. And I don’t know why.
“I hate my life,” I’d say to myself. “Surely, this can’t be it? Have I been reduced to a nappy-changing, argument-diffusing, laundry-folding husk of a woman? Really?“
And I have sat around, frustrated tears falling down my face, and I’ve done nothing except work on an impressive butt-groove on the lounge.
This is just a guess, but I think I feel so wretched because I’ve once again discovered it is impossible to do everything. And that pisses me off.
But the cold, hard truth is – I can do anything. But not everything.
And this week, instead of embracing that fact and choosing what I do want to achieve, I’ve wallowed in self-pity and done nothing. Like some kind of silent, sobbing protest.
What an idiot. A perfect example of self-sabotage.
I had the self-sabotaging blues.
But I discovered that I was the one who could turn it around. I was the one who could choose to continue feeling terrible, or choose to feel better.
How I Beat the Self-Sabotaging Blues
Writing is my outlet, my passion, my creative balm. If I don’t do it, I feel… jittery. I have things to share. Things I want to teach. Things I want to learn. And to do that, I write.
By doing something. Anything.
Yesterday afternoon I had enough. Enough wallowing. Enough frustration. So I did a five minute Clutter Bust and breathed an enormous sigh of relief. Unsurprisingly, I felt re-energised. So I did some gardening with the kids. Then I cooked dinner. And suddenly… look at me – I’m a fully functioning member of the human race once again!
By being kind to myself.
I am a rational person. I understand that I can’t do everything. I can’t possibly run a household, care for the kids, write 6 hours a day, be a great wife, cook gourmet meals, get to the gym 7 days a week, keep the house ‘Home Beautiful’ ready, be a good friend, get 7 hours sleep each night, be a good sister, organise daily outings, be perfectly groomed and stylishly dressed and always, always remain incredibly calm.
As much as I want all these things, I tell myself – truthfully – that I can not have them all. Not now. Not all at once. And I say to myself, “Self, that’s OK. In fact, that’s better than OK. That’s life and that’s awesome. Get used to it.”
How You Can Beat the Self-Sabotaging Blues.
By Finding Your Passion
What’s your passion? Your creative balm? Your outlet? Find it and make time for it.
You may need to get up a 4:30am, or stay up late. But if it’s a passion – you will find a way. And you will be rewarded.
By Doing Something. Anything.
I know that butt-groove is impressive – but get up and do something. Stop wallowing. Make the phonecall you’ve been putting off. Go for a walk. Do 10 star-jumps and then clean up the kitchen.
Doing something – achieving something – will motivate you. It’s a mind-game, yes, but it helps.
By Being Kind To Yourself.
Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “It’s OK. You can’t do everything. But that’s life and that’s awesome.”
Say to yourself what you would say to a friend if she came to you in tears, feeling the same way. You need to learn to be a good friend to yourself.
Do you have trouble accepting the fact you can’t do it all? Tell me I’m not the only one!
We know things are out of control – we are living cluttered lives, in cluttered homes, with cluttered minds. But how to change? How to start living a slower, simpler life?
Join the Slow Home BootCamp – a free 20-part email course that will kickstart your Slow Home journey. Learn more and sign up right here.