Hostful Episode: Dealing with Judgement – SHP011

The Slow Home Podcast - Hostful Q&A Nerdist is one of my favourite podcasts in the entire world. It’s funny and insightful and sometimes rude, and it was the first non-business or productivity podcast I subscribed to. Occasionally the boys do a Hostful show, which is an episode without any guests, where they chat about life and what’s happening and try to make each other laugh. They’re some of my favourite episodes, so when Sparky and I sat down to work out the next few episodes for The Slow Home Podcast, we decided to throw our own hostful into the mix. That being said, I don’t think it would be quite as entertaining listening to us talk about life for 45 minutes… “Have you paid the insurance yet?” “What time is your meeting at preschool tomorrow?” “Do the kids need new shoes for winter?” So our hostful episode is all about you, and today I try my best to answer three listener questions:
    • How do I deal with the negative judgements (both internal and external) that come with slowing down and simplifying my life?
    • How can I integrate nature and the outdoors into a slower, everyday life?
  • What books have helped in your journey towards a slower, simpler life?
I also may or may not end with a small rant about the personification of our stuff and why it’s harming our ability to let go.

The episode’s format is a little different but I hope it’s something you enjoy. We certainly had fun recording it!

Want to submit a question of your own for the next Hostful Q&A?

If you have any questions about slowing down or simplifying life, I’ve created a page for you to submit them either via email or voice recording. Head over here to ask your questions – I’d love to answer them in the next Q&A show.

In the meantime though, enjoy today’s episode and, as always, feel free to leave your questions or suggestions in the comments below.


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13 Responses to Hostful Episode: Dealing with Judgement – SHP011

  1. Thanks so much for this podcast Brooke and Ben – got so much out of it from you both. Love ‘The Jones don’t exist’. And as that saying goes, ‘It is not selfish to refill your own cup so that you can pour into others’.

  2. I’m really enjoying the podcast but your comments about emotional attachment to belongings annoyed me. I’ve seen you comment elsewhere that you haven’t read Marie Kondo’s book – I’d challenge you to read it and add your reflections in a later podcast.

    I agree with you that ‘stuff’ should not have too big a place in our lives, but to me that is the destination not where most people start. Clearing the stuff is an emotional process as there is a lot of mis-placed investment in possessions. I think that what Marie Kondo is on about is a mindful approach to this, and if you read her whole book you’d see it in that context.

    I’ve personally found her approach very useful and have really been able to declutter a lot more effectively using her method than other approaches.

    • Thanks for adding your thoughts to the conversation, Kate. I appreciate it a lot.

      I’ve been thinking about your comment and actually did consider taking the time to read Marie Kondo’s book. But then I realised that I have no need to, as I no longer struggle with clutter – emotional or otherwise – and I’m not in the habit of adding unnecessary input into a life I am intentionally simplifying and slowing down.

      My comments in the podcast weren’t specifically about Marie Kondo’s book, but I know her work is very popular right now and inspires passion in a lot of people. I think anything that gets people thinking about living a simpler life is wonderful! The only thing I will say is (as I mentioned in the podcast) different things work for different people, which is great, because I also think the world would be very boring if we all thought and did things in the exact same way. :)

      So I stand by my comments on the danger of personifying our stuff, but completely accept that framing it that way is going to be helpful to other people.

      Thanks again!

  3. Thanks for answering my question. It made me laugh because I am one of those people who need to declutter their decluttering books! But no judgement right? :)

  4. Hi Brooke! I really enjoyed this episode as well – I love hearing your thoughts and insights on all things slow, and I love the dynamic between you and Ben.

    I’ve been enjoying the podcast as I drive for my job as an itinerant teacher, which is related to a question I have. My job requires me to physically be in several places in the run of a day, working with several students and their different school teams (classroom teachers, teacher assistants, resource teachers, school staff, sometimes parents and community organizations) in the run of a day. No two days are the same, which I find both freeing and mentally taxing. It’s just a lot of mental chaos inherent to the job (which, on the whole, I love.) While our home is quite slow and calm by design, I find that by the time I get home at the end of the day, my mind is often in a thousand different places and I’m still trying to sort through the day. Do you have any tips or advice for calming that leftover busy mind from the day and shifting into more slow thinking when I’m home with my family? Thanks so much! Take care!

    • Thanks so much, Sherrie! If it’s OK with you, I’d love to address your question in an upcoming episode, as I think the issue you’re struggling with (calming and slowing your mind after a busy, full day) is something a lot of people struggle with too.

      In short though I would definitely recommend some kind of buffer between work and home (even 5 minutes) where you can work through a brief mindfulness or meditation exercise. Something as simple as sitting in the car, breathing deeply and slowly taking stock of each of your 5 senses, one at a time, will help pull you out of your head and recalibrate. There’s also an app called Buddhify, which I’ve used and really enjoyed, that might help in taking you through some very easy meditation.

      Once you’re able to switch between work and home, it will be easier to intentionally choose a mindset of slow (much like Carl and I spoke about in his podcast episode last month) and then let things unfold from there. It might just be a matter of training yourself to delineate between the two.

      Let me know if that’s been helpful at all! :)

  5. So I wanted to offer an alternative perspective on decluttering books. I know that for me, books, blogs, ebooks, facebook groups are all what keep me on this journey toward a simple life. Without continually renewing and refocusing my mind on a slow and simple perspective, I would easily get sucked back into the mainstream attitude toward stuff and life values. I don’t see anything wrong with decluttering declutter books. They serve their very valuable purpose of inspiring you to declutter! I also don’t know anyone who perpetually reads decluttering or simplifying books and never does the true work. They inspire us to action, and we need that! :)

    • Thanks so much for the alternate perspective, Joy. It’s always good to hear things from another point of view.

      As I mentioned in the podcast, I think different approaches work for different people and there will always be wonderful little nuggets of helpful information in any book, blog post or podcast. That’s what is so powerful about sharing this kind of info – we never know who it’s going to reach and how it might help.

      I know not everyone agrees with me about this, which is completely understandable, but I have been in touch with a lot of people who become attached to the idea of reading and learning about slow/simple living but find they aren’t able to move in to the practical side of actually doing the work. It’s when I speak with these people that I sense a reliance on the busy-work of reading about changing, rather than actually putting the book down and making the change. So in this case I do think it can be helpful to encourage them to put down the books and get cracking! :)

  6. I have a question completely unrelated to slow living. Where did you get the theme music for your podcast? It is so nice and relaxing. Is it by a particular artist that I could look up and use to inspire my slow journey?

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