Making Friends as an Adult – A Deep Dive in to Slow Relationships

joyce huis

Active listening is the cornerstone to developing meaningful, longer-lasting relationships.

We’re onto the last of our slow relationships episodes, and this week is all about new friends: where to find them and how to get from barely know each other to BFF, slowly. It’s all about taking the time, being intentional and paying attention, as well as discovering the joy of spending time with people based on what’s important to you rather than the situation you find yourself in (bye awkward office/school drop off chats, hi fellow slow living friends). First up, Ben asks if, given last week’s episode about maintaining existing friendships and the time it takes, as well as the effort involved in meeting new people, do we even need any more friends? I give an emphatic yes and share some of my own story and the challenges I’ve faced around friendships. (i.e. I struggle to make them and to put myself in the position of vulnerability required to deepen them). In case you need convincing, I also highlight some of the benefits of friendships according to science, including everything from improved self-esteem to reduction in stress and depression, finding like-minded folk to while our days away with is absolutely worth the effort. And now the question is: how do we find these new friends? I talk about the importance in shifting our attitude and being open in social situations (even if that feels difficult and scary). Think about the values you’re looking for in a new pal, and find ways to put yourself into a relevant community, whether IRL or online. I’ve got some helpful strategies for the introverted among us (I feel you) and some coping mechanisms for those inevitable awkward first conversations. It’s also important to keep in mind that not all fledgling friendships will work out, and that’s OK. It’s a cheesy cliche, but I really do believe that we have friendships that will last for a short time, an important time and also a life-time, and just because a new mate doesn’t become a bestie isn’t a reflection of us or our failings. It’s just life. Here’s to more listening, more mateship and in those lucky instances of true connection – more friend love. It’s important, just like you.


Head over to iTunes to subscribe to the show and play the episode.

Or you can listen to the show directly, simply by hitting the Play button above. Enjoy!


Things to Check Out After Today’s Episode:

Love Slow? Support the show!

6 Responses to Making Friends as an Adult – A Deep Dive in to Slow Relationships

  1. There are so many good places for bbq in Austin. A lot of people will recommend Franklin Barbecue because it’s the best in town, but it always has a very, very long line. La BBQ and Micklethwait in East Austin are also super delicious, and they won’t have nearly as long a wait.

    If you’re able to travel outside the city, then the Salt Lick in Driftwood is good for an adventure into the Hill Country, and it has a neighboring winery. Louis Mueller’s in Taylor is your classic, weathered Texas BBQ restaurant.

  2. In this podcast episode, you mentioned an app for meeting people (friends) who are like-minded about slow living. I can’t find anything here. Maybe I missed it. I would love to know the name of the app :) Thanks!

    • Hi Anthea! The only one I could find (and I’m sorry the show notes weren’t helpful!) is a dating app called Once. I’ve tried to find an app that is specifically for friends but couldn’t see anything that fit. Perhaps a local Meet Up group might be a good place to start?

      • Brooke, love the podcast!

        We live in Minnesota, USA. You mentioned a group in the podcast from Minnesota, I can’t seem to find anything about them online. Do they have a different name that you know of?

        Thanks, Scott

        • Hi Scott! Apologies for not replying earlier. The group was called SimpleREV, established by my friend Joel Zaslofsky. But as far as I’m aware it’s no longer operating. The Minimalists have set up localised simple living groups across many communities – so that also might be worth checking out?