Slow Romance – A Deep Dive in to Slow Relationships

Renee Fisher

“Single task your relationship.”

Annnnd we’re back. It’s the first week of July, and while we’re due for a Slow Experiment, thanks to book tour commitments and a tight travel schedule, we’ve decided to keep walking that tilting-into-slow-living walk and take the pressure off. Instead, July will be a deep dive into relationships. Specifically, how we can bring slow to our relationships. Romantic, family and friendships old and new, each week we’ll be exploring ways you can create deeper connections with the people around you.

After Episode 242 was released a few weeks ago, where Ben shared his story and we spoke some uncomfortable but important truths about the past seven years, we received so much feedback and a whole heap of relationship-oriented questions, we could see that this was another area of slow living (and just plain old regular-paced living too) that isn’t spoken about enough. So let’s do it, friends.

This week starts with some smooching and some loving and me using the term “hook-up culture” about 28 times (sorry) as we look at how to bring slow to our romantic relationships. Ben and I talk about our own relationship, and acknowledge up front that our experience of the dating scene is quite old-fashioned. In fact, I thank all the love gods that there was no swiping right back in the early 2000s when we first met.

However, we do talk about the fact that a lot of dating technology doesn’t necessarily support people looking for a deeper, more meaningful connection and offer some suggestions for those of us who are looking to spark connection in other, non-Tindery ways.

We also talk about the importance of entering into relationships and getting to know people with a focus on intention over the endgame, and how presence and time helps to cement trust. The same principles apply to people already in a long-term relationships, and intention, turning up and building trust are where it’s at. Perhaps not surprisingly, we also advocate to drop the distractions and be present with your partner, and truly believe that turning up is vital in building a solid, steady foundation.

In the spirit of Episode 242 we also bring up some of the challenges we’ve faced in our own relationship, talking through some of the biggest obstacles and lessons we’ve faced over the past 18 years (what? 18 years? Aren’t I, like 25?) and finish up with a reminder that romance is constantly evolving.

We also invite you to be aware of your expectations in your relationships this week, and to explore finding joy and depth in the ordinary, everyday moments because in our experience, those ordinary, everyday moments are the bread and butter of a relationship. Finding joy in them means finding joy in every day.

Also: here’s to more loving.

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6 Responses to Slow Romance – A Deep Dive in to Slow Relationships

  1. Hello!

    First off, thank you always for your podcast. It is truly one of my favorites. <3

    I wanted to let you (and everyone!) know about a slow dating app in the States called Personals. It's an Instagram account (and soon-to-be full-fledged app!) created by and for queer women & non-binary folks. It's formatted after old-school personal ads — so slow and fun! :) @_personals_ on Insta

    Thank you again, Brooke, for what you do. Enjoy the West Coast!

  2. As someone who has been married for 32 years and met her hubby 37 years ago l think you guys nailed it. Show up in the little ways etc. I’m not sure of this but l think most guys might want to solve and gals just want to be heard and hugged. Great that you are sorting this stuff out now and having this conversation. Looking forward to the rest of this series.

  3. Thank you for sharing the podcast. I believe that the relationships formed before digital age last longer and people know each other better. Slow romance, I hope I could find something like that in the future.

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